• KG1


“Wait, Junior Boyd. You’re fading out. You must be moving around. Oh, that’s better. Watch the playoff game with y’all? That’s kinda cool. Everybody needled up. But I don’t know what I’m looking at anymore. I can’t keep score.”

“I don’t understand, Semple.”

“Well, I’m watching the game the other night and the guy scores 40 points. Great game. Then it got greater. He had 15 assists and the announcer said he was responsible for 70 of the team’s 100 points. But I saw a teammate score 20 points and have 6 assists. By announcer language, he was responsible for 32 of the team’s 100 points. So these two dudes put together was responsible for 102 of the team’s 100 points. Maybe more by announcer language if they mix in how many assists resulted in 3-point baskets. Then I look at the box score and I see that the team had 30 assists in total. So in announcer language somebody responsible for at least 160 or 170 of the 100 points the team scored. This really confusing to me. I could never pass statistics. How can a team be responsible for more points than it actually scored?”

“It’s merely how they phrase it sometimes, Semple.”

“But I need them to phrase it so I know how many points we talking about. Is it 100 points or 170 points? It’s too late for me to be tryna figure this out. I’m looking at the bottom of the television screen at the graphics, but that ain’t really the score because they saying there more points out there players responsible for. So the score ain’t really the score and who can concentrate like that? It’s messing up my understanding of the whole game. If a player catches a pass and then shoots the ball in the basket, he responsible for the 2 or 3 points. But the player that passed him the ball is also responsible for the 2 or 3 points. This can’t be logical. The least they can do is split up the credit. Then they gon have to go back and change all the record books from day one. John Stockton gonna have like 28,000 points. And Kareem gotta give back a bunch of points. That ain’t happenin. But I can see the big benefit of the current system if I’m a shooter though. If the passer is responsible for the 2 or 3 points, then he also responsible for when the ball doesn’t go in the basket. He didn’t set me up right. So, you see, I’m never responsible for a miss. That would help me when it’s time to negotiate a contract. I’m the guy that shoots a lot and never misses. That should be worth a serious amount of money.”

“I comprehend your initial criticism, Semple. However, you’re stretching matters as you typically do.”

“I’m tryna stretch into some dollars. I’m never responsible for a miss. I’m gittin paid. Of course, if I get fouled while shooting, I’m gon have to take some free throws. I can’t make no free throws. That’s zero percent.”

“Your NBA career is over already?”

“Guess so. I’ll be over in half an hour. I’ll adjust.”

#thelanguagelane #keithgilyard #semple