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Semple Soliloquy on Montgomery


The fuss fading over the Brawl in Montgomery. The rap song been made by Gmac Cash. Jokes told. Names handed out to the Alabama Avengers or Aquabruh or Acquamayne. The Negro National Anthem been rewritten: Lift every chair and swing. Spirituals: Swing Low, Sweet Chair. Chair sales in Walmart leveling out. Tee shirt sales stagnant. Memes slowing down though they still crazy and funny---Malcolm X behind the curtain with a chair instead of rifle. Stuff like that. Rosa, Martin, and JoAnn Robinson been like Kareem Addul-Jabbar in the Montgomery Civil Rights Record Book. Now the Brawl gon be Lebron James. That’s what the kids gon know.


But Uncle Reggie, who cracked the white woman with the chair, still facing charges. His legal defense must make the chair go away. It’s opposite most of the meme stream. His lawyer must convince folk it didn’t happen like what they think they see on video. I kicked it with my nephew on this. Y’all know he do the book thing. I ain’t been with that nearly as much. He say the legal narrative must go against the memes. The narrative must take the chair out the brotha’s hands.


Now I don’t know nothin about how that git done in the courtroom. My nephew say it’s all about philosophical story. The lawyer must persuade the jury to go for the Plato defense. He say the ideal form of the chair only be in the nonphysical world, somewhere in the Great Beyond. Anything we be seeing as a chair is an imitation of the ideal chair and imitations ain’t the real thing and not perfect like the real thing. That’s what my nephew say Plato say. That mean the chair the brotha had wasn’t the real thing and can’t do damage like the real thing. He barely tickled the white woman, much less assaulted her. If he stick with that story he got a chance. Just keep the jury away from the Plato critics. My nephew admit it’s a long shot. Kinda like a narrative magic trick. If the brotha nervous about it he can go in a different direction. Maybe consult a different magician like Donald Trump or Rudy Giuliani. There’s enough GoFundMe there to consider it. And Rudy can use the money. But we know Donald’s and Rudy’s stuff definitely don’t work.


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